There are plenty of resources on adoption on the internet, but the best way to find out what adoption is really like is to hear the firsthand accounts of the families who have been on the journey themselves. Recently, we reached out to one of our adoptive couples, who has adopted twice now from the same birth mother through our office. Here is what the adoptive mother had to say about her experience:
Q: What made you choose adoption?
AP: We had a heart for foster care/adoption from the beginning of our marriage. About three years into marriage, we learned of our infertility diagnosis. Once we received that diagnosis, we felt peace and confidence that God would grow our family through adoption. We never even explored infertility treatments or options.
Q: Why did you choose Ray Godwin?
AP: Any time we met a family who had adopted domestically, we would ask what lawyer they used, and it was always Ray Godwin! I also met Mr. Godwin at an adoption conference and felt he was very knowledgeable and experienced.
Q: What were your experiences like working with Ray on each adoption?
AP: Excellent. Both experiences were very different. But Ray and his team were wonderful both times. Ray was always available to consult during difficult times and decisions. And Kathleen was always a calm, reassuring, and listening ear for me when I needed to process difficult moments. Also, we always felt that Ray and his team were our advocates and had our best interests at heart. The adoption world is very birth mother-centered (as it should be!), but our past experience with an agency made us feel like we were the forgotten party. In comparison, we had a very open, trusting relationship with Ray and his team, and we felt seen and heard by them.
Q: Do you think that open adoption is a good idea? Why or why not?
AP: Yes!! Open adoption is such a gift. I know not every circumstance can be an open relationship, but in our case, we are so thankful it is open! We have a wonderful relationship with our children’s birth mother and her family. It never hurts to have more people loving on and praying for your kids. It’s a blessing for all of us–our kids, their birth mom, her family, and me and my husband.
Q: What were the highlights of your adoption experience?
AP: Oh goodness, there are so many! Other than our children–I would say our greatest highlight in both adoptions was the generosity of the Lord through others to help fund our adoptions. When initiating an adoption plan, the finances can be overwhelming, but I can honestly say that God provided for both our adoptions through the generous giving of others, successful fundraising, and grants. Other highlights would include my relationship with my children’s birth mom, being in the OR for my second child’s birth, and now–5 ½ years after our son and ten months after our daughter–seeing how well their birth mom is doing. She is thriving! She has a great job; she has accepted a promotion; she is in a stable housing situation; and she is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy! She is working towards so many goals, and we are so proud of her! When I ask her how she feels about her adoption plan now that time has passed, she says she has so much peace!
The adoptive mom reached out to her children’s birth mother to see if there was anything that she wanted to add from her experience as well, and here is what the adoptive mom reported:
AP: I asked our birth mom if there was anything she wanted to share. She told me she wanted women in her shoes to know there is hope. She said not only was she faced with an unplanned pregnancy, but she was in a very abusive relationship, too. She was in a really dark place and felt so alone. She had no idea how she was going to parent and care for a child when she was trying to get herself on her feet. She wants women to know they can choose life for their babies and life for themselves, too, through adoption.